i dont know what to do. im definately going through something and im getting upset all the time and i dont know why. im like crying constantly and i feel insane. the littlest things are making me upset and this is not who i am. i hate february this always happens. i like the life im living. i love my friends. i love my boyfriend. not so much my job. i dont understand why things like stupid stuff set me off. ugh theres just too much going on right now.

so two more weeks with this god damn cast on. two more weeks of doing absolutely nothin. for the first tme in forever i did my hair and it still looks crappy. i need my hand my wrist my arm back pronto :o( im so fucking bored with life i cant go to the gym on my free time i cant so anythhhhinnngggg afdhbgadfbsg so frustrated. i go back to work tomorrow but im nervous because i dont want to hurt it. UGHHHHHHH
to top this all he got accepted to the school. and im so happy for him i really am. but for me, i feel like i was punched in the stomach. :o( im trying to be as supportive as i can but its so hard. its so hard because im so scared. w/e nvm

ever since i was little i always had a notebook to write in. a journal of some sort. when i became more attached to the computer i would write on there and then live journal came and i moved it to there. and althought i dont write ever day i have had a journal since as far back as i could remember. if i lost one id make another or id find a random sheet to write on. i dont think i get my thoughts out to often. i dont let anyone know whats really going through my head or how much something effects me or or how funny i really did think something was. when i was younger in my early years of high school i didnt tell anyon anything..same thing for my senior year. i didnt talk to any one about anything good or bad. i dont know why. i relyed on writing as a release for me, but i still havnt figured out why it is on because as much as im getting everything out .. i still dont have feedback. i dont let anyone see most of what i write about even if its nothing. idk i find writing a weird release but i'll still continue to do it.

i do not understand. why do people have to put such horrible thoughts into my head. i know what im in store for, ive thought about how everythings going to change, ive thought about it all. and every person i talk to has the same negative thought as the next person. no one thinks it will be able to make it and that thought kills me. its bad enough they dont think it'll, but cant anoyone have a little hope for or with me. two people do but thats about it. it makes me think i should give up hope. but i cant because im aattached but still idk w/e. im just ging to stop talking to people about it because they are all bringing me down

soooo... i fractured my wrist yesterday snowboarding. i was doing really well...on the bunny hill. i was getting the hang of things. after my lesson kevin brought me up to the top and i got to scared i was doing good but the mountain started to get icey and well..i told kevin to go on cause i felt bad not like 10 minutes later i fall down hurt myself and walk the rest of the way down. but im not going to give up...i got a free lift ticket and rentals and lesson so its alll good.

im in this like immoblizer thing and it hurts to do everything and i have to ask fo help and quite frankley i dont enjoy it. it makes you think like how much you need something like that and i give props to everyone who has lost a limb. i know im not that my injury isnt that drastic or a big deal im just saying.