so0o0o0o stressed.
need school to be over, and
to give me back my sanity.

i love my family they're funny.
i hate bitches.
i need to do something about hating pot since everyone i know smokes.
i need to stop over thinking every single thing, i need to become simple minded.
i dont want to go to work and miss this nice weather.
i do want to get drunk this weekend and let loose.
i cant wait to get my puppy and kitten!
i can wait for the exspenses.
in class we had to do this excercise where we listed 5 things we liked about life and existence and earth and what not, then list 5 things we hated. like for and against. it was ineresting. and i liked it, just sharing.
my mind is all over sooooo goodnight

im going through a thing again. i just keep coming across that upset me, make me jealous, or something or the other. i want to find peace. i want to have summer. i want to get outta here.

each day i lose a little bit more faith in such a thing as every lasting love. i dont know, every day i hear something messed up and i cant even believe. about people i know and dont know. from cheating to lieing to being a completely different person. i hate it i truly do. not only do people cheat, they are not ashamed , they dont even care. i cant stand it. it makes me think its must be so hard to stay ina relationship. i used to be the most optimistic person you met. i cant say i am anymore. i wish i was though.

i think weather has a rediculous effect on my moood

i hate how hard trusting someone can be. when your young, trust comes so natrually, you dont worry about someone lieing to you, somones cheating on you, somone stabbing you in the back. these dont exist. until your hurt, and then you just cant trust anyone, even the ones who deserve it to come natraully. i can truly say the only people i trust without haveing any type of doubt is my family. my mom my dad and my brothers. thats it. everyone else i second guess and i will alwas second guess. because since i was a naive kid who lived in her world. i trusted everyone. and everyone walked all over me. it's just hard to trust. how can you tell whether or not somoene is lieing to you. how can you call them on it. i see left and right people being lied to or people lieing. how can people do that. i just dont know. it's hard having a boyfriend, in a different state for spring break vacation with a bunch of his bro's and having these issues with trust. and my boyfriend is one of those people who deserves the trust to come naturally, because i know he would never hurt me and he would never do anything to screw this up. but theres always this like voice in the back of my head syaing he could be lieing, why are you trusting you so much, every other girl would be flipping out why arent you so i dont know. dsahfaslkjhdfkaj

i need to get the fuck off long island for a little while. i need a fucking vacation from life a little bit because im a bit exhausted, a bit emotional, cranky as all hell i need to just leave. dskaljh;kgjhf;lkjhgsdlkjhflkajhdfkaljdh

yesterday i celebrated my one year with kevin and it was really nice. we went to robert moses the light house and walked around and then went to the bluffs at smithtown beaches and wlaked the trails. afterwards we went to uncle g's to get things and made a really nice dinner together. and after we went bowling. it was all just really nice and relaxing. i wish it was a nice day out it was all cloudy but whatever. with that being done, im pretty much like idk.

my spring break is this week and i honestly have no where to go and nothng to do and im kinda upset about it. i want to and need to get off this island and i tried and i cant. there are SO many people i know going to freaking florida and i think im just going to hop into a suitcase and go because i cant handle this i havnt been away in forever. bahhh. it really actualy bothers me.